How to Forgive a Cheating Man

Discovering that the man you love has been intimately involved with someone else is never easy. While others may be trying to convince you to leave your cheating mate, a part of you wants to give him a second chance. This is a decision that only you can make, but first consider if he truly deserves a second chance. Ask yourself, has he done anything like this before? If this is his first offense and you believe that one day you will be able to trust him again, than follow these steps and begin your healing process in forgiving your cheating man.

1) Don’t Dwell – If you dwell on it, you will dwell in it; “it” being the sexual act that was committed by your mate. If you agree to work through the situation, do not bring up old details. Stay busy if you find yourself, during downtime, contemplating about his mistakes. This will only frustrate you and lead to more unanswered questions that he may not want to answer or, you don’t want to hear the answers to. You will find yourself having the same argument over and over again.

2) Don’t Dig – “Digging” is perhaps the most non-productive activity women engage themselves in. If you have recently learned that your man is cheating, don’t “dig” or “search” for more incriminating evidence. If new suspicions begin to arise address them verbally preferably, during a couples counseling session.

3) Talk it out – Wanting to know WHY is natural, but you need to ask WHY in a healthy setting. Couple counseling is beneficial to couples who have experienced issues of infidelity and it can provide you with the answers you need to know in order to successfully move forward.

4) Leave friends and family out of it – Naturally, our family and friends like to protect us from any form of harm. So, of course, they are going to convince you not to forgive your partner. They do not want to see you cry and your confusion makes them uncomfortable. While you may want to tell your friends and family, they are only going to tell you what THEY think is best for you. Their opinions may vary, and you might have someone close to you who is concerned about the preservation of your relationship. Ultimately, in a situation like this it’s best to seek professional advice.

5) It Takes Time- Forgiving a cheating mate is not an easy task. It is NOT something that happens overnight. It is a process and during it, healing and restoration gradually develop. If you continue to go to therapy (never assume that things will work themselves out over time), a level of trust and a sense of commitment will resurface in your relationship. Your mate’s continuous attendance will prove his sincerity and commitment to change. Do new things with your partner and work on the TLC aspect of your relationship.

Saying Goodbye to Michael Jackson “The King of Pop!”

On June 25, 2009, Michael Jackson was pronounced dead after physicians failed to resuscitate him. At the age of 50 years old, Jackson leaves millions of fans behind who remember his vibrant career and unprecedented peaks of sales and international popularity. How does America say goodbye to “The King of Pop?”

1. Pay Your Respects: Saying goodbye is never easy, especially to a celebrity icon like Michael Jackson. Fans around the world have paid their respects with memorial pages on social networks such as Facebook and MySpace. While others, have decided to purchase timeless memorandums like autographed T-shirts, CD’s, and posters on sites like EBay. If you are an innovative person, you can organize your own memorial service and encourage fans to attend. You can also visit www.7online.com and post a message about your feelings regarding Jackson’s untimely death. These are just a few ways to pay your respect to the late pop sensation.

2. Request/Buy his music: Call your local radio station and request to hear your favorite Jackson classic. This will help you and millions of others say goodbye. If you have never purchased a Michael Jackson CD before and have always wanted to, the time is now. Purchasing an artist’s music and showing love for their craft is a wonderful way to show your appreciation and condolences. www.Amazon.com has “Michael Jackson: The Ultimate Collection,” priced for $34.97 with free shipping. What better way to say goodbye?

3. Research his life mission and support his cause: Michael Jackson was a humanitarian, and had a number of charities. If you would like to contribute to one of Jackson’s well known charities visit http://www.allmichaeljackson.com/charities.html. Contact the charity and ask how you can be of service to their needs.

4. Never Forget Him: Let us, just for a moment, compare literature and music. Great music, like great literature will be remembered forever. Shakespeare is timeless and so is Michael Jackson. If you vow never to forget him, he will live on forever in memory and through the words of his songs, and you will never have to say goodbye.

Its So Hard to Say Goodbye…to Harlem!

The following is an illustration of Harlem in 20 years according to NYC's city planning devision.

According to the New York City Department of Parks and Recreation, Mayor Michael David Bloomberg, has plans to create new open space throughout the city and make neighborhoods more attractive and liveable by implementing the Five Borough Economic Opportunity Plan.

On March 30, 2009, the West Harlem Pier Park was opened for New Yorker’s enjoyment. The park is two-acres of green that connects West Harlem to the Hudson River Greenway and features a docking pier, fishing pier, bicycle and pedestrian paths, public art and landscaped open space.

Deputy Mayor for Economic Development, Robert C. Lieber believes that the new plan will create more jobs for New Yorkers, establish long-term economic growth, and create affordable, attractive neighborhoods.

Harlem’s Pier Park is just one of the many developments that city planning has in store. Others include the expansion on Columbia University’s campus and the restoration of a number of public housing units. Specifically, Lincoln public housing, which is a waterfront property, has already been targeted.

Many Harlem residents have been sedulous in their attemps to end gentrification and have joined groups like the Harlem Tenents Council in their efforts. Harlem gentrification is not a new issue. In fact, the New York Times published an article entitled, “Harlem’s Hedge Against Gentrification” in 1987.

In the article, David N. Dinkins, the Manhattan Borough President condemned a city plan that would allow white construction companies access to 45 empty buildings, while allowing them to construct 900 living units. Mr Dinkins said, “the proposal would only open the way for widespread gentrification of Harlem with no promise of improvement for present residents.”

Below is footage of a Harlem Tenants Council demonstration against Harlem’s deconstruction.

Angela Davis speaks on Anti-Racism, Feminism, and Abolition Democracy

Angela Davis, radical black activist and philosopher, was arrested as a suspected conspirator in the abortive attempt to free George Jackson from a courtroom in Marin County, California, August 7, 1970.

On March 5, 2008, Towson University’s Center for Student Diversity sponsored a lecture that drew a large crowd to its Student Union’s Potomac Lounge. Guest speaker, Dr. Angela Y. Davis, former member of the Black Panther Party, spoke on the topics of anti-racism, feminism, and abolition democracy.

Angela Davis is the author of Prison Industrial Complex and professor of the History of Consciousness program at the University of California. During the late 1960’s, Davis was placed on the FBI’s Top 20 Most Wanted list for her anti-govenment activism. Today, she is internationally known for her ongoing work to combat all forms of oppression in the U.S.

Davis explored the “obsolete prison system” in relation to the three topics of discussion. She also mentioned the recent inauguration of America’s first president of African descent and her hopes for him in office. “If Barak Obama supports freedom fighters, he will support anti-government activism,” Davis said.

Often referring to her allotted time and staying on task, Davis quickly mentioned other issues that were loosely related to her three major topics. The topic of Proposition 8 (the legalization of gay marriage) in the state of California and its relation to racism and discrimination was briefly mentioned. “We should allow gay couples to marry, who are we to say that they can’t?” Davis said.

While the event lasted a total of three hours, Davis was able to engage the audience through with her humor and personality. Her lecture was intertwined with statistical facts, research related information, occasional jokes, and a concluding prayer.

Y-Love the Black Jew, Lays Down the Hip Hop Game

Y-Love is a Black Jew who raps and is successfully building a name for himself in Brooklyn. Originally from Baltimore, Y-Love ventured to Brooklyn to deepen his understanding of Judaism and to escape his life of crime in Baltimore City.

Y-Love recalls a time when he and a pair of friends were planning to rob a building. As his friends crawled inside, Y-Love waiting outside had a religious epiphany. “It was Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, and instead of celebrating in the synagogue I was helping to break a commandment,” he shamefully admits.” Today, Y-Love hopes to use his music to promote the Jewish faith and to improve the lives of Americans.

Although extremely soft spoken, Y-Love brings an incredible presence to the stage while rapping in English, Hebrew, Aramaic and Yiddish, the languages of the Talmud. He is also studying Greek, Latin and Arabic, which he has already began to incorporate into his faith-based lyrics.

There have been other Jewish Hip-Hop rappers but Y-Love brings a certain flavor to the stage, that others before him did not possess. For example, Hip Hop lovers were introduced to Matisyahu in 2006. Since his album first debuted, Matisyahu has become the most prominent Jewish rapper in the United States.

Now, it is time for Y-Love, the black Jew, to take center stage. If Y-Love is granted an equal amount of publicity as his predecessor, than he will surely rise to the top and overshadow any slight remembrance of Matisyahu.

The Jay-Z of Jewish Hip Hop has arrived. To learn more about Y-Love click here!

Slavery in 21st Century!

Nicholas D. Kristof’s video account entitled, “The Face of Slavery: Female Trafficking in Cambodia” explores the horrific journey of one girl who sacrificed her right eye in attempt to end her sexual exploitation.

Electric shock has become a common practice in taming both, young women and farm animals. Girls who are forced into slavery are often as young as 6 years old. Their virginity is bargained and they are forced to perform oral sex. Cambodia has become a “Hot Spot” for foreign pedophiles and a safe haven for locals who are empowered by raping little girls.

How can modern day slavery take place in our world without the intervention of the humanity? Sexual trafficking is not just taking place in Cambodia, but in India and Pakistan as well. What message is being sent to the women who live in these areas? Are they less valuable, or are they just not worth fighting for?

We are all human, and concerns with humanity and women’s rights are at the center of the sexual trafficking plight. So, let us not simply dismiss the issue and scroll down to the next entry. Commit to making a difference concerning this issue!

For more information Contact Amnesty International, and see how you and your organization can be of service.

Oprah is 200lbs and she’s fine with that!

Weight gain is not easy for women to swallow especially, for those who are continuously subjected to public haunt. Oprah Winfrey, world renowned talk show host and journalist, has battled with her weight since September 1986, when her show first debuted. It is no secret that Hollywood encourages entertainers to be thin. Everyone knows that Oprah has battled with her weight but she is not alone.

Tyra Banks and Nicole Richie have both been criticized for their failure to satisfy Hollywood’s standards. “Kiss my big black ass,” Tyra belted on her show, September 11th nearly coming to tears. Other stars such as, Janet Jackson, Kirstie Alley, and the late Anna Nicole Smith all had difficulties sustaining a healthy weight. Similarly, all of these stars are women and have been graced with the physical demands of Hollywood’s success.

Yes, obesity is at an all time high but I think that high school antics of “Bullying the Fat Kids” are not very becoming of Hollywood. Being “just right” is becoming harder and harder to achieve. Now, with 2009 steadily approaching, Oprah has decided to accept responsibility for her recent weight gain.

Oprah rocks! She rocks because unlike other stars who have allowed the media to point out their flaws and cause them unnecessary emotional stress, she is acknowledging her weight gain and is willing to embrace it. The media will not have the pleasure of pushing this talk show diva into a corner of shame.

Hillary Clinton is Said to Accept Secretary of State

It looks like Hillary Clinton has unofficially accepted the position of Secretary of State under the Obama Administration. Her selection is still to be formalized and will not be announced until after Thanksgiving.

During the most historical presidential election of the United States, the two candidates with opposing views went head to head for a chance of becoming the next president of the United States.

Clinton, who has had a prominent role in the Senate, established herself early on not only as a woman, but as a valued candidate for presidency.

At the start of her campaign, before joining alliances with Barack Obama, Clinton firmly expressed her opposing views regarding foreign policy. During a debate, Mr. Obama termed “ridiculous” the notion of not talking to adversaries and Mrs. Clinton sharply criticized him, calling that position “irresponsible and frankly naïve.” Is it possible for rivals to become compassionate partners?

For the purpose of bettering our nation, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton have put their differences aside. Hillary is accepting the position under two conditions, that she be allowed to hand pick her own staff at the State Department and have access to Mr. Obama without having to go through a national security adviser.

Hillary is a sign of independence for many women, and becoming Secretary of State may not be well received by her female supporters. On the upside, Hillary by 2013 will have acquired the necessary skills to run for president of the United States. These next four years will provide the public with an understanding and audition of what both Obama and Clinton are capable of, and may constitute as the determining factor if they were to face off again.

Nonetheless, Hillary’s addition to the presidential cabinet would further support Obama’s campaign slogans of “change.” It looks like America has much to look forward to.

$1 Million Bid for 22-year-old Virgin!

The 22-year-old who is using the pseudonym Natalie Dylan for safety reasons is going through a legal brothel in Nevada to sell her virginity. “The main purpose of this is to finance a couple things in my life,” Dylan said. “I think empowerment of women is picking yourself up and doing something on your own to better yourself.” She has already taken a polygraph test to prove her virginal status, and is also willing to undergo a medical exam.

The auction will take place at the Bunny Ranch in Carson City, Nevada with bids coming in through their website. Owner Dennis Hof reports that eBay rejected the auction, so he’ll handle the entire process.Is this young lady serious, or is she just eager for her 15 minutes of fame? Tyra is an exceptional talk show host, but are we already running out of things to talk about?

It would be idiotic for America to believe that this is something new. Prostitution is definitely alive in the United States. Craigslist is a well known online venue that hosts prostitutes in its “erotic services” section. In addition, virginity has always been worth cherishing, but virginity in the 21st century, especially at the age of 22, is rare.

Is this an act of feminism? No. Is Natalie in charge of her sexuality? No. Natalie is a modern day capitalist, who disregards all moral and ethical standards for the purpose of gaining one thing – capital.

She isn’t very smart though because Dennis Hof, the owner of the Bunny Ranch, is about to gain 50% of her earnings from the final bid. Why is America so entertained by her story?

Headline worthy, I ask you “Are you serious?” I could think of one hundred news worthy stories that are not given the time of day. But Natalie, the 22 year old virgin, gets two segments on the Trya Banks Show? Come on people, lets get real!

Essence’s Young Women’s Leadership Conference

On Saturday, November 8, 2008, hundreds of women were present at the Essence’s “Young Women’s Leadership Conference,” at the Walter E. Washington Convention Center in Washington, DC. The conference consisted of three general sessions, four workshops, and one town hall meeting. Each event was moderated by an Essence magazine editor with the exception of the town hall meeting, which was moderated by special guest, Jeff Johnson.

The first general session entitled, “You Inc.: Market Yourself for Success,” was well received. The guest speakers included Rhonda Mclean, Dee Marshall, and Denna Singleton and Amy Dubois Barnett, author of the book Get Yours! Diversifying one’s network circle, dressing the part, speaking with authority, and researching your position were among the topics that were discussed during this particular session.

The second session entitled, “Set for Life: Your Fast Track to Financial Control,” offered students and recent graduates tips on how to achieve financial stability. The 10-30-60 rule is one that offers students a method for handling their funds in a percentile breakdown. Creating a spending plan was another helpful tip that Lynn Richardson offered to avoid living not check to check, but what she called “check to Monday.”

Investing in stock and real estate were both mentioned when discussing how to generate wealth. Angela and Vanessa Simmons, daughters of Rev. Run, discussed their journey of success and encouraged young women to start their own businesses.

Workshops were optional and were left to the individual to attend. The topics for the workshops varied from sex and relationships to entrepreneurship.