Love Sucks!

Nas and Kelis during happier times

Nas and Kelis Call it Quits
By Shana Morgan

Who knew that there was trouble in paradise and that the Hip Hop couple Nas and Kelis were under fire? Fans were shocked to learn that Kelis Rogers had officially filed a divorce from her husband, rapper Nasir “Nas” Jones only after four years of marriage. In 2005, during the winter months in Atlanta, family and friends gathered to celebrate the union of a young and vibrant couple.

Details regarding the divorce are unclear at this time but speculations continue to spread.

Domestic Violence Ain’t No Joke!
By Shana Morgan

On January 16, 2007, Francis Amera Moore was a victim of domestic violence. After being engaged to her finance, James Madison for two years their relationship came to an end when Moore found herself unconscious, lying in a hospital bed with her left eye closed.

Three months later, Moore ended her 10 year relationship and has since committed herself to being an advocate for domestic violence. “I was afraid to tell anyone; it was not the first time he hit me and I knew it wouldn’t be the last!” Moore said. “Young women need to walk away and understand that if a man beats you, than he does NOT love you.”

Moore shares moments of stalking and fear, when recalling memories of attempting to end her abusive relationship with Madison. “I came home and this fool was up in a tree stalking me, literally in the tree and that is when I knew he had a problem,” Moore said.

Immediately after this incident Moore called the police and had Madison arrested for the first time. Four weeks later he was arrested again for violating a peace order administered by the District Court of Maryland. “He was obsessed with me! Him getting arrested didn’t matter,” Moore said. “If I didn’t want to be with him, he wanted me dead!”

After being released from jail with only a verbal warning to stay clear of Moore, Madison insisted on paying her a visit. “Now that I look back, I should have moved; I just requested that my carrier not list my phone number,” Moore said.

Madison drove a total of 56 miles to meet with Moore face to face. “I opened the door and he went straight for my throat,” Moore said gripping her right arm. “I remember being punched repeatedly in the face and everything after that is just a blur.”

Moore, after two months of being unconscious, helped detectives find Madison and charge him accordingly. He is currently serving a 15 year sentence for assault in the first degree.” If I could give one piece of advice I would say, “domestic violence ain’t no joke and that the first time a man hits you the relationship should be over!”

Usher and his wife Tameka in September 2007, after their summer wedding

Welcome Baby #2
By Shana Morgan

Usher Raymond and his wife recently welcomed into the world their second child, Naviyd Ely Raymond. The baby weighs in at 5 pounds and 13 ounces. The newly weds have definitely been busy, their first child isn’t quite two.

Nonetheless, the development of a new family may be the remedy that “superstar” Usher needs to satisfy his appetite for new women. In his photos, Usher seems rejoiceful with his new wife but, their have been several reports that signs of infidelity have already surfaced in their marriage.

An old Latin proverb says, “There is nothing more important then family, but their is nothing more delightful then a man who loves his family.”

One of my good friends Tamara(left) and her lover (right), who have been in a committed relationship for years. They are a prime example that gay relationships can work!

Advice: Who Am I? A Lesbian or Bi-Sexual
By Shana Morgan

Ordinarily, I respond to advice request that are sent to me via email. Nayvianya Kamoe’ posted her request as a comment below, on this page, so there is no need for me to feed everyone an excerpt.

First off, let me begin by saying, to be a lesbian by definition means to be sexually attracted to women-only. My dear, you are a bi-sexual or what I like to call a “social lesbian” which is determined by how often you engage in sexual acts with women. If you enjoy the pleasure a woman gives, but are disturbed with the thought of being in a relationship with one, and prefer men as commitment partners, than a social lesbian is what you may want to call yourself.

Sorry Nayvianya, but no one can tell you who you are, but you! It sounds to me, from what you’ve stated in your comment that you are a bi-sexual who once enjoyed women, but then settled for a brief time with a man, and who was later frightened with the idea of sex with this man. Am I right?

Assuming that I am correct, I say this. Love is the greatest joining factor, whether cupid joins us to a man or a woman is predetermined. I think the question that you must ask yourself is “who am I more passionately tied to, men or women?” Now, passion is not just a sexual thing; It relates to the mental, physical, and spiritual connection of two people.

Sex is secondary. If your passion is stronger for the man you were with a year ago, explain to him that being with a man is sexually difficult for you, and that you would prefer him to be gentle. Sex with men is not so bad – just ask a girl who knows. Well, I guess you just did that 🙂

I hope that my words have been of service to you, if you have any other questions or concerns email me at journalismatbest@yahoo.com

With Love and Respect,
Ms. Shana Morgan

Well, it must be nice to be young, sexy, and in love - you go girl!

Do I Hear Wedding Bells?
By Shana Morgan
Photo courtesy of Essence.com

On Wednesday, December 24, “Eva” from season four of America’s Next Top Model, received the best Christmas gift a girl could ever ask for. Lance Gross, “House of Payne” star, got on bended knee and popped the big question with a 3.36-carat 1895 Pave Cartier ring at 11:30 P.M. PST. The couple plans to marry in the summer of 2010.

Advice : Black Men and Madden NFL LIVE 09
By Shana Morgan

Excerpt from Email:

“Shana, I really like your blog and enjoy reading your opinions. Can you help me? I am a successful black middle age man who loves playing Madden, but sometimes it gets in the way of my personal life…how do I balance the two?”

Steven Ball,39, who is a Vice President of a major real estate development company, recently confided in My Black, is Beautiful that he has an obsession with X-Box and loves to play Madden NFL Live 09.

Now, as a successful black man in America, who is constantly under pressure to produce, it is acceptable for him to “kick back and relax” every now and then.

Ball is not married, has not had a relationship in 3 years, and often neglects potential love interests, all because of his need to play this game. He is financially equipped and physically fine (he included a picture), so ladies why is he letting these games dominate his personal life and strip him of his happiness?

The fact is, some black men play video games to escape the harshness of their realities and avoid the demands of responsibility. Brothers, its time for you to grow up, place the controller on the shelf, and be the men that black women need you to be. Playing Madden isn’t detrimental to your mental and spiritual growth, but it can prohibit you from achieving absolute happiness. Don’t allow the controller to control your life; get it together, its not that hard!

Thank You, Steven, for your email. Feel at ease when I say that you are not alone. My tone is not meant to be harsh but encouraging. How can you expect to find love when you don’t make time for it? People often over work themselves or become self-indulged in activities that do not allow them to explore the fullest of human existence. Gripping a controller 10-12 hours a day is unacceptable and limits your human experience. Love is the most enjoyable human experience that exists and you, at the age of 39, would already know that if you weren’t so wrapped up in Madden.

With love and respect,
Shana Morgan

“Black Men Ain’t Shit”- Objection!
By Shana Morgan

Despite the scorned hearts of many women, there are plenty of good men in the world. If you haven’t found one yet – be patient, stop looking so hard, and maybe one will find you.

Collectively, Black women should stop male-bashing and embrace the brothers that are truly trying.

Sandra Davis, a young woman attending Morgan State University, said
“Men Ain’t Shit and nobody meets my qualifications,” when addressing the male population at her school.

She proceeded to pull a list out of her book bag. It read: 1. Handsome /2. Money/ 3. Loves his mom / 4. Loves me more. The list continued throughout the page, down to number 22.

Ladies, let us toss the lists out of the window. Standards are understandable, but limitations are hindering and can leave you lonely.

Also, the place where you’re looking for a man may not be the right one. It’s not likely that you’ll find the man of your dreams grinding in the club. TLC said it best, a man who will potentially call you his wife, won’t “holla” at you from the passenger side of his best friend’s ride.

Okay, so you’ve never been exposed to culture, that’s alright. If you’re in school like Ms. Davis, try going to the library or to educational forums to find brothers. Talk to young men that know there is more to life than Hip Hop culture and Madden. Find someone that doesn’t mind reading a book or taking a trip to an art gallery, who is daring and enjoys trying new things!

It is agreeable that standards are necessary but don’t be excessive.

Also, material things should never be on your list, they’re just bonuses.

Standards, like a foundation of a house, are important. If the house is laid correctly it will not crumble: not enough time, effort, and structural elements can destroy it. Similarly, standards are the foundation of a relationship, but if you begin adding unnecessary elements and making unnecessary efforts it, too, will fail.

So, the next time you think that there aren’t any good Black men in the world, take the time to re-evaluate the foundation of your house!

I Dont Need a Man, I’ve Got My Own !!
By Shana Morgan

Yes, no one loves an independent woman more than Neyo. His two latest songs have been dedicated to this feminist movement. Thankfully, Neyo isn’t alone in his pursuits to praise an established Black woman.

“I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T do you know what that means?” was a song that Lil Boosie released just this past summer. It, too, celebrated the ability of Black women to graciously stand on their own two feet.

Is it not pleasant to see women in a different light? The industry is slowly evolving, moving away from grotesque images and videos that do nothing more, than exploit the body of an African American woman.

Neyo’s lyrics are a realist approach to the status of Black women in society. Today, Black women are working and holding positions in corporate America, becoming CEO’s, doctors, executive producers, directors, politicians, activists, and the list goes on and on – women are definitely doing well for themselves in the 21st century.

Booty shaking, pole dancers are not the women of interest anymore, thank heavens!

Men love a good challenge, and what’s more challenging than being with a woman that doesn’t need you?

Let’s thank Neyo for stepping outside of the box, and introducing to the world a type of woman that has been in existence for ages, “The Strong Black Woman.”

Hopefully, these positive images of women will encourage other R&B artists to go against the grain and commit to change. Maybe, just maybe, more rappers will be inspired too. Then again, let’s keep our fingers crossed on that!